McDonald's English

Image by Tankgrrl http://www.flickr.com/people/hegemonyrules/This is something I haven't seen that many people complaining about yet, although I'm sure there are any number of curmudgeons1 banging on about this in dark corners of the internet. Never mind, I'll join their ranks anyway.

There's a lot wrong with McDonald's, most of which you can find elsewhere on the internet, so I'm not going to waste your time or mine discussing it here. I'm not on about exploitation of workers or damage to the environment. You won't hear a thing in this post about about the promotion of unhealthy food or "supersize me" culture.

I'm worried about McDonald's English.

The only definition of this term I could find online was in the Urban Dictionary and that wasn't what I meant at all. I'm talking about something far more insidious. By the use of one sustained ad campaign over a number of years McDonald's Corporation have managed to infect the brains of a large proportion of the English speaking world. They've even got to intelligent articulate people whom you wouldn't even imagine going into a McDonald's to take a dump. You just need to search through Twitter to see how widespread it has become. Can you tell what it is yet?

I'm lovin' it.

This is incorrect English and as such doesn't make sense. Those of you who know me will be aware of my tireless, some would even say anal, campaign against apostrophe abuse. Despite the appearance of two apostrophes in such a short sentence, this isn't that.

The verb "to love" is what is known as a state verb, that is one that describes a state and not an action. When you love something you are continuously doing so, it's not a one off action. The correct phrase in the advert should be:

I love it.

Quite why the advertising executives passed over this simpler and far more direct slogan is a bit of a mystery. Perhaps they were uncomfortable with the emotive word "love" in its purest form. What I find odd is how they got away with it. Try it with any other state verb and it sounds totally ridiculous, for example: "I'm knowing it".

I think it's Minnie Riperton's fault. She started her 1975 hit "Loving You" with the phrase "Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful..." I think this gave some legitimacy to the word "loving" and by extension "lovin'" despite the fact that halfway through one of the verses she quite clearly runs out of inspiration for the lyrics and lamely concludes:

"Do-d'n do-do do / Waaaaaaa!"

However, her use of the word "Loving" is correct - she's using it as part of the noun phrase "Loving you" which is the subject of the sentence. She then informs us that this thing "is easy" and goes on to explain why.

So the McDonalds ad is incorrect English unless the actually mean "I am not actually a person but am the abstract state of loving it". Which I severely doubt. So the message for today is simple.

Loving it - don't do it.

1 Curmudgeon always sounds to me like something you'd use to hit people

Popular posts from this blog

The Weird Case of Weirdcase

Image
This may well end up being one of the oddest and perhaps most anal-retentive blog posts I've ever written, but it's an anomaly I noticed early in life and have never been able to find a satisfactory answer for.  Perhaps unsurprisingly it involves the London Underground tube map. As I've discussed elsewhere the iconic tube map captured my imagination at an early age and it was at this early age that the anomaly itself was in full swing.  It was all to do with the way the stations were labelled. Up until the end of H C Beck's reign as tube map designer the station names on the map were all written in uppercase. Presumably all the better to read you with – although not if you have dyslexia. Unfortunately at that time accessibility wasn't high on the list of London Transport's priorities, as can be seen from the fact no stations had step free access – despite the fact that so many of them had been originally been built with lifts. Nevertheless, the all uppercase pa
Read more

Talking shit

Image
One of the things people say about me is that I'm quiet. Sometimes this is a criticism, other times not. I've already explained that part of the reason for this is because I find small talk difficult . Well, not just difficult, I find it pointless. If there's something worth discussing, I'm quite capable of amputating the hindquarters of a member of Equus africanus asinus with my garrulousness. Some people just can't help themselves though. As Douglas Adams once said " if they don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working ". I usually come across them whilst I'm out and about, on public transport or in shops. You can hardly call it eavesdropping; to avoid overhearing these types you really have to be listening to Napalm Death on your iPod. Its incredible just how much you can overhear without picking up any genuine content. It's all filler, conversational fluff designed to prevent the other person getting a word in edgeways and
Read more

The Invisible Sign

Image
For a long time I was conviced that I was simply rubbish at life. Throw me into a social situation with a whole bunch of humans and I didn't have the first idea how to even begin to attempt to join in. People would seem to collapse into these stable little groups of two or three leaving me floating around like a stray electron. Against my best instincts I often tried attaching myself to these groups but joining in with the conversation was impossible. Besides, I really felt like I was interrupting. It was rude . Even if I did dare to say something I'd get odd looks. I still consider my crowning achievement in this Biggest Outsider Challenge to be when I ended up spending time standing around on my own at the very bash being held for me leaving a job I'd been in for 16 years... Now that was impressive. Of course well-intentioned people kept telling me to try harder, giving me tips and tricks, but nothing really seemed to work. I'd hear variations of "We all feel aw
Read more